Aspects Of My Poor Health I Now Realise Are Due to My Autism

I have a long history of physical health issues and poor health.

While researching girls and autism to increase my knowledge to help my daughter, I also discovered the link between autism and digestive problems, specifically ulcerative colitis, which I have suffered from for many years, having been diagnosed in 2002. Since then, I have been on strong medication, including anti-inflammatory drugs, high doses of steroids, and immunosuppressants. When these proved ineffective, I underwent a series of major surgeries over three years starting in 2009. Unplanned emergency admissions have also been a regular occurrence, happening approximately every six weeks at their worst.

In childhood, I was often unwell. I had asthma, eczema, and allergies. This was another difference and a potential target for bullying. In my late teens, I experienced unexplained abdominal pain and anxiety.

When I first started working as a teaching assistant, I would be ill with a heavy cold every weekend. When I began teaching, my Ulcerative colitis would flare up and worsen at weekends. It felt as if my body held itself together during the week so I could work at a job I enjoyed, but it would give in and collapse each weekend, which had an effect as a result.

A few years ago, I experienced widespread pain, especially during the colder months, and was seeing a rheumatologist. She believed my pain and fatigue were caused by fibromyalgia. I now realise it is probably due to autism.

I am writing this today because I am feeling very unwell. My anxiety has been increasing over the past week or so as the start of term approaches, and I am writing this after dropping my daughter off for her first day in Year Nine. I am frustrated with their ‘wait and see’ policy regarding her support, as it seems to me they lack a full understanding of her needs and difficulties.

Last night, I felt incredibly unwell; I was experiencing great pain in my stomach, my legs ached, my knees were stiff and sore, and my whole body was fatigued, leaving me exhausted. Keep in mind that I haven't engaged in any extra physical activity. I haven't eaten anything known to affect my digestion. The cause of this physical exhaustion and pain is anxiety.

The anxiety has also lowered my tolerance for other sensory inputs. Noises crash through my head, becoming amplified and distorted as they rattle around and mix into a messy, uncomfortable hubbub. I notice every movement at the edges of my vision, causing more anxiety as I (over) react to shadows and reflections, flying bugs, and wind-blown plants and trees.

I’m subconsciously stimming more; wringing and clenching my hands, stiffening my muscles, sucking my thumb and rubbing my thumbs.

I am waiting for the moment when I can collect my daughter from school or for the call from school telling me to pick her up early. Either way, I know I will feel better once she is with me—when I know how her day has gone, that she is happy, calm, and not upset or anxious.

I have written a to-do list. This helps me manage my anxiety. I hope, in turn, my physical symptoms will ease. I will return to my pattern of resting during the day when needed and working when I am able.